Isolation.

You always hear stories of those people who give up their jobs and sell their houses and their fancy cars, delete their Facebook and throw away their phones to begin life again in the deep wilderness of Wisconsin (or other Wisconsin-like places). Then, years later, they emerge due to the need for medical care or because they have reached enlightenment and now desire to share it with the rest of the world. When I read those stories, I tend to think “sure, that’s one option but another option would be to just use Facebook less and still have access to things like grocery stores, medical care and other people.” Now, I realize that I have never (and will never) been a hermit but, after a week without internet, I feel like I can relate to them a little bit more than I could before.

For the first few hours of this isolation, I felt lost. I had my phone, but I had nothing to look at. I could still use the Chinese version of texting and Facebook (it’s called wechat) but you can only scroll through the same newsfeed ( and not be able to read anything on it) so many times (am I right?) . And I have a routine. I check my texts, then facebook, then I check messages, then I check instagram, then snapchat, then wechat and then I get out of bed and get ready for my day. But this past week, I was skipping right to the last part of my routine which forced me to get out of bed like ten minutes before I usually do which meant that I was ready for school earlier than I usually am which meant that I got to school earlier than I usually do which meant that I was at my desk and working before I usually am – and I didn’t even have anything to check when I wanted a little break! But actually, it was kind of nice. I wouldn’t say that this internet hiatus has helped me reach enlightenment but I did learn that I can live without Facebook. Once I got used to not being able to check it, I stopped thinking about it and thinking about checking it (although my phone kept reminding me that I had notifications and messages that needed to be looked at…which didn’t help).

The actual worst part (aside from not being able to watch tv) of this whole thing was that I could see the messages coming in! My phone would buzz and I could read the first few lines of the messages (which after a few days were less conversational and more like “BAILEY?!?!?!?!?!” but when I tried to open them or respond it wouldn’t work. So, instead of responding in a text or a message that I was ok, I just screamed at my phone “I’M FINE. I PROMISE IM NOT IGNORING YOU” and hoped that somehow the sound would be transmitted through the phone to them….it didn’t work, if you were wondering.

Now that the internet is back, my routine is back. I get out of bed at the usual time. I get to school at my usual time. I take Facebook breaks again. I can now respond in a timely manner to messages and notifications. My TV is back (well, for the most part…Netflix still won’t let me watch it because its “illegal” or something trivial like that). And I thought that having it back would make me a little sad because it was kind of nice to not have to worry about checking my phone. But I was wrong. I love my phone. I love being able to text. I really, really missed it - and the friends and family that I couldn't talk to without it.

So, no. I have not been a hermit. I have not given up the luxuries of this life to move into the deep wilderness and reconnect with the roots of creation (mostly because I don’t have a house or car to sell in order to do that) but I do have a (little bit) better understanding of what might bring someone to do that and while I will most likely will not be dropping everything to go live in the woods, I suppose it couldn't hurt to try the other option of just using my phone less....but I did just get it back....so, I'm not going to make any promises..... but we'll see.